Memories

Hello blog! :)

It's been some time...

I felt the need to write about myself today, for some strange reason. I don't usually get too many urges to write any more. The full time work life takes those creative urges out of you. If for a moment you have that brief, fleeting urge, the corporate machine will suck it right out of you. Lovingly of course. The corporate machine is there looking over you, looking out for your best interests - career wise... Of course.

Anyway, I suppose some of my hesitation writing in this blog again has been a lack of any creative content to add compared to those I follow, and reminding me of a disconnection to those I followed, and treasured in one way or another.

My life however, needs some talking about because it's so mundane it calls true the explanation of this very blog.

My life has been centre around my boyfriend, and work. While I love them both, it's pretty much the same thing over and over again, and I am getting a little restless, looking for that thing to mix it up a little.

I learned recently though, that all my efforts are in vein. I don't know what happen to all my friendships I have spent a lot of time, and effort creating and maintaining but they have fallen off the universe? It makes one wonder that if it weren't for your effort, they would not have existed at all? That's a depressing train of thought.

Perhaps what I am experiencing is difference, the impact of change on relationships and the like. It bothers me that people I considered genuine friends no longer share an interest in my life and what I am doing. There are those, of course, who like me feel that something needs to be maintained, but too much has happened for our friendship to be anything near as great as it used to.

I admit, I have changed. One massive change has been my relationship, being the first serious, somewhat mature aged relationship. This occupies time, but it certainly doesn't occupy my attention. While I do, knowingly and willingly, avoid certain activities to be with the man, I do not intend or attempt to neglect those around me. I also don't think that my relationship, and my distraction with it, to be so intense that the decomposition of other relationships would take place. I think it merely an excuse, should they choose to actually justify it to me.

Another thing I tend to experience recently with friends, is that in all honesty, introducing them to other friends is an awful idea. Particularly if they get along like a house on fire. But be careful, that first time they meet they may appear to hate each other. Leave it that way, I promise. I didn't and I worked on it... now it's a friendship I'm barely a part of.

Anyway, I'm pretty much whining and complaining. And is there anything more unattractive? If you dislike the cards that have been dealt, put them back in the deck and try again...