Overwhelmed

So I must apologise for the lack of blogging recently, and for those of you who have noticed, I did actually post something since Confessions of a Serial Dater #2. But, as you can see that post no longer exists...if I had the benefit of hindsight it would never have been posted.

To explain my unexplained absence from my blog, I will share with you all what has been, some of the most intense weeks of my life. First, I knew I was taking on quite a lot when this semester began. Being my final year, obviously I'm doing all of those things that add to the resume and make me a viable candidate for graduate positions. So amongst internships/volunteer work/casual job/classes/study/assignments ... I have had very little time.

To add to that, I had a very unfortunate experience, one that I would never like to relive or come across again. A friend of mine went under the radar, many weeks ago now, and among our circle of friends we were a bit concerned as it was very out of character. I knew he was a bit sick at the time, though he didn't seem that sick, so I did the hospital ring around to yield no results. Spoke to a number of people he was familar with, and even managed to get in contact with people I had only ever heard of but knew he was close to.

Unfortunately, it got to a point where I went to his house in the hope of finding something there, and what I found wasn't pleasing. Before you think I found his body or something, that's not quite right, what I did find was piled up newspapers, overfilling mailbox, and a car in the garage. The call was made to the police, not by me, I don't think I could have convinced myself that it was necessary, but lo and behold, he was found inside.

It was incredibly sad, as this was one of his worst fears living alone, that he wouldn't be found for days, or weeks. In our (his friends and I) defence, none of us wanted to believe this could have been the reason for him disconnecting from us all, we were all holding out some hope there was another reason.

So, the funeral was had, and it was very, very disheartening given the service hardly related to the person we knew. We then confirmed we would be having a memorial service, as he was a public figure among the gay community, and a very generous man in terms of his time and even with his money for many great causes in the gay community of Victoria. It was a very fitting night, albeit a bit expensive given the choice of venue, although I didn't spend too much.

In addition to all of this, I have been doing graduate applications like no tomorrow. I've been applying blindly to any graduate program, to increase my chance of having a job next year, given I finish my degree this year. So far, I have been selected to progress into the next stage for one of the programs, so here's hoping!

More recently, I have come to realise that I'm suffering some elaborate form of reverse culture shock. Naturally, I was prepared to some extent for a bit of culture shock coming home from Canada. I expected my friends would tire of me talking about Canada, and I understood that. Except that that's not so much an issue. I seem to have experienced some... hybrid version of this reverse culture shock. Rather than my friends being annoyed with me, I just can't seem to reconnect.

The foundations of these friendships have changed, or at least shifted to some degree, and I find myself; constantly, feeling the outcast. There is a number of reasons for this, but while my circle of friends is expanding and overlapping, most of my friends, regardless of which walk of my life they have come from, now have similar wants and desires. Except, they are the complete opposite of my wants and desires.

It's a bit depressing, but meh, I'll deal with it. In the meantime, I have no life. I live vicariously through friends who all seem to be doing exciting things, and I feel rather left behind... but anyway.

For those of you who want to know what happens to Johan, stay tuned, the update is coming.

Confessions of a Serial Dater #2

OK, so this post isn't going to be as lighthearted as the previous, I'm trying to get this post done so as not to leave you guys hanging. I have about another 2 posts I want to put up really soon, and I don't want to inundate you all with 3 posts to read!

Anyway, after the first 'date' with S, I was convinced it went really well, and that this could actually turn into something. I even remember writing a very cryptic blog on myspace, back in the day, about that fact. Because should this turn into something, I would have been changing so many things about myself, and taking quite a few risks, to do it. I came to the decision that I would do it, I would take that risk, or as I put it in the blog, I was going to jump off that cliff and I was going to pray to God the water was deep enough.

That was probably the worst thing I could have done. I had pretty much mentally taking myself off the market, almost practically imagining I was in a relationship with the guy that I haven't even dated for the second time yet. Sound a bit needy? Well I am sure that's exactly how I came off...and everyone knows, no one likes a needy guy....

So we made the plans for the second date, we were going to go to the drive in. And I was pretty pumped, no matter how old school that date was going to be! Anyway, so I'm getting myself all prettyyy, and I get in my car which I had just cleaned (come on, there are few times when I bother to clean my car but if we're going to sit in it for a while watching a movie, I better make an effort!). I begin to drive to his place, which isn't that far from me but nor is it that close... I get a msg from S telling me to hold up a bit because he's running late.

If my addiction to Will and Grace had taught me nothing, then it's no wonder I was oblivious to the fact I was going to be blown off. And that is exactly what happened. I ended up driving around his area for a bit waiting for the msg to say, hey I'm ready... which never came.

I gave up after an hour or so after the movie was meant to start. Sad? Yes. Incredibly. Looking back, I feel like an absolute wanker. But hey. So I when I got him he explained what had happened etc. It was a perfectly reasonable excuse, of which I had no reason to doubt its truth, in fact, doubting it vocally would have made me seem like the biggest asshole known to man, but there are times you just know when they are using something legitimate to get out of something, and this was one of those times.

After our conversation on the phone, he told me had to go but would definitely call me back before he went to bed to make another date. I found myself hanging on my phone for a very long time, falling asleep on my bed in the clothes I'd been in all day, waking up periodically to check my phone. I gave up at 5am!

I didn't hear from him for a few weeks... I got the point.

In more recent news, I went on a date this week. So we'll see how that goes before I start blogging about it.

Confessions of a Serial Dater #1

As promised, through the quirky, and most times intriguing blog In Search of Kyle, I am here to blog about some dating misadventures.

Let me introduce you to S, my date. S and I met in a rather, somewhat, odd fashion. Firstly, through a random add on myspace did I see his face and the like, but not once did we talk on the internet. We actually met face to face, totally by chance, at a local club, straight one, one very drunken night at the beginning of the mid-year break at Uni.

It was a rather awkward meeting, because in my drunken state I had the courage to wave to the guy who's face I had recognised from myspace. He, it seemed, had no idea who I was. Until later in the night, by which point I assume he was sufficiently more intoxicated, had the courage to come up to me and start a conversation. This began a series of endless messaging each other, talking on MSN messenger until unGodly hours of the morning, and on occasion, long and expensive phone calls.

So came the actual first date. Which is so memorable, it took me quite some time to recall the actual first date. Anyway, we decided that because both of our times were rather limited, and both of us as broke as all hell, we'd cheap it out, go hire movies, get some munchies from 24 hour Safeway, and chill back at his place.

I drove to his place, and met him in the sober-flesh, which was all well and good, he was as I remembered him (perhaps a little bit more effeminate). We then proceeded to get in his car, and drive to the video store. When the very first problem of the date became evident.

Problem one: I was far too comfortable talking to him, revealing many things one would never reveal on a first date. There's an episode of Will and Grace that captures this error perfectly, "you have to try not to scare him with all the crazy at once, you've got to get him in and release little bits of crazy over time."

After this realisation, I made every effort to limit how much I was willing to share with the guy. But then came the next problem.

Problem two: The video store was closed! Obviously in our dilly-dallying around, we totally forgot that we met up at like 9pm, and all video stores in our area close at 10pm... and by the time we got there it was well after.

Naturally, we then had to decide what we were going to do instead. S came up with a nice idea of just hanging out, chatting and getting to know each other. I thought this was cute, and totally deserved merit, and showed that I had found one of the few guys that didn't want just sex out of me.

So, of course we ended up not moving from the car park, and chose to just sit in his car talking for hours. When problem one re-visited, I pushed my qualms aside and figured that this is the guy I want to talk about this stuff with, and if I'm comfortable enough, it says something.

But then I realised the next problem.

Problem three: S was not responsive, nor reciprocal in the entire sharing of my life story. Sure it stands to reason, no one should be that comfortable. I should have taken this as a hint, that things were going a bit awry.

After seven, what I thought were successful, hours. Our 'date' ended. I left feeling elated, and really excited.

Stay tuned for what happens next.

Heatwave

So, I figured I'd use my blog to bitch about the heat. There are many critics out there annoyed with us bitching about the heat, but the reality is, this is too hot for us and if you like it, go ahead and enjoy it. We don't like it, and there is little we can do to fix it, so our only option is to bitch! SO I WILL BITCH!

Anyway, Victoria overall has seen some painfully new records in the state, matching records from as far back as 1875. With temperatures hitting 46 degrees celsius, there is no wonder we are bitching. Might I also add that the majority of measuring stations for Meteorologists are actually in the shade? So, that isn't the actual temperature if you are out in the sun.

Along with this freakishly hot weather, many industries and services are struggling. Most notable are the Energy industry, and Public Transport. And you know what? There is no reason, in my opinion, that they should be struggling. There I said it. Most people are a bit understanding given these temperatures are rare. But with the threat of global warming, and the undeniable fact that Australia is a hot country, is no reason for any organisation to have a prepare for the worst scenario. And it is not as if any of this has not happened before, because it has, despite that, these industries are hideously under-prepared for these things to happen.

The Energy industry for example, struggled last summer when the mercury hit record highs for the summer of the year. Power outages resulted, leaving some homes without power for up to 24 hours, while workers were busying themselves replacing blown transformers, and powerstations operating at ten times their capacity.

Connex has come under fire for the hundreds of cancelled train services the past two days. Within reason however, leaving passengers stranded on outdoor platforms in the heat. Trains are breaking down, with air conditioned carriers struggling, and train tracks warping. Fair enough, this is fairly extreme, and unusual, but not unheard of .

Not only has this happened in Australia in the 1960's, and other more isolated incidences since then, but it has happened in Britain numerous years ago, and in other countries. All of which were a result of extreme temperatures that the lines just are not used to. I do not blame anyone for that, no one can really control that. But when extreme weather conditions are predicted, I don't think it is unreasonable for Connex to expect and be prepared for, such things to happen. As uncommon as it may be, given our countries climate and the unpredictability of Melbourne weather on any given day, businesses should always be prepared for the worst in terms of weather.

Adding to this is the threat of Global Warming,these are only issues we are likely to continue to see, as these 'extreme weather conditions' prevalent throughout the world are being attributed to it. Thus, it is high time the Energy Industry stopped cutting corners, upgrading powerstations that are long overdue, and re-allocating energy to different powerstations so that some are not operating above their capacity. There are options available to the Energy Industry to avoid times like these, and as economically unfeasible they are in the short-term, in the long-term with the threat of global warming, it is undeniably an investment.

For Connex, I don't expect given these conditions for things to be perfect. But there was a lack of preparation for a crisis like this to be dealt with. There is a complete lack of organisation at the moment within Connex, very few staff members know what is happening, let alone the passengers. Given the reasonable foreseeability, in my opinion, of this in extreme weather, they should be ready, and have on stand-by other transport options. It has happened before, its not common, but it is something that has happened ONLY in extreme weather conditions. So when such conditions are predicted they should be ready for this.

Another issue with Melbourne is undoubtedly the lowering levels of water. Forgive me for the dramatic comparison, but it's getting almost third-world! Our water, energy and access to public transport is being compromised!

I can handle heat, but the general lack of preparedness to deal with heat, I find shocking. I don't expect things to be perfect, nor for things to run totally smoothly. But we are a hot country, like the rest of the world, under the threat of Global Warming, with the resources, facilities, and capability to avoid such a gross mismanagement of a crisis.

I will reiterate, I don't expect perfection, but I expect better than surprise.

Australian

Ladies and gentlemen, it is time to update again, and I feel this may be a lengthy one.

As most of you avid readers and followers of my blog will now, I have returned to Australia from a five-month stint in Canada. I have now been home a week, and I am reminded of what it means to be an Australian, what it means to live in Australia, and all of things, I dislike about Australia.

Well, how to start this... obviously, the most significant change I had to get used to was the weather. I had gone from ridiculously cold (Ontario) to temperate (British Columbia) to extremely hot (NSW and Victoria). I survived the hottest day on record this summer, being only two days ago, and certainly not helped by the bushfires that consumed my suburb.

Thankfully, my house is OK, and everyone has survived. Unfortunately, one house (although not totally destroyed as a result of the fire) was damaged as a result. It was in this moment that I remembered what it was to be Australian, and what being an Australian entails. Bushfires!

Where I have lived my entire life, bushfires have been a harsh, unwelcomed reality of every day existence during the summer. For years we have set records for fires, in size, length, and in the size of the response from the Country Fire Authority (CFA). It's nothing to be proud of, yet it is one of those unfortunate facts.


Source: The Age, Photo by: Angela Wylie
While some, without naming names, will argue the actual threat to my home because it was apparently nowhere near me, I would like said person to have been here when my neighbours backyards were affected by embers causing spotfires. And to have the Council Rangers constantly surveying your property ever 15 to 20 minutes for spot fires, and to be told by Fireys that you should remain on high alert and be prepared to evacuate should the fire continue to burn out of control.

The Australian part however, was seen through the response of the residents, not so much the Fire Brigade. I am incredibly critical of their response on the day, I felt it was organised chaos, it was delayed, and Helitanker support was intermittent and insufficient. Yet, the residents, however Bogan the rest of Victoria think we are, supported and helped each other, throughout the entire time.

I knew nothing of the fire until my next door neighbour, who is new to me, bashed on my door interrupting my Wii bowling, to open the door to clouds of thick, black smoke, and the sight of flames that looked within touching distance. It was from that moment, that all of our neighbours who were home, rushed to scene of the fire because it was ridiculously close to residential areas. I witnessed people breaking into other peoples properties, not for the purpose of stealing or other sinister affair, but to ensure no one was inside, to take out peoples pets.

Law goes out the window in these emergencies, especially those of water restrictions as well. Currently, water restrictions are fairly tight here, and we're encouraged to use 155litres of water per person, per day. That definitely went out the window, and despite some spectator abuse, and disapproval in this (which I found extremely upsetting and unnecessarily rude).

Yet I was still amazed at the willingness of others to put themselves in face of flames, which my next door neighbour did to save a dog he heard barking from a backyard that was moments away from being wiped out by the quickly spreading fire. The instantaneous reaction to spot fires caused in the reserve behind our estate that bordered properties and infiltrated backyards, even without the residents being aware of it, or the CFA for that matter. The duty other residents assumed to secure other peoples houses for those who were not home... That is what it is be to Australian.

We were largely unprepared for a fire of this magnitude, that I will accept, its been years since one of this size and this ferocious. However, it is no excuse for the fire authorities to be unprepared either. I know and understand there were fires throughout Victoria on the day, but to have the two local fire stations totally void of any response for the first half an hour was a disgrace. To have one helitanker dropping water, was an issue. Everytime the tanker went to refill, the fire would spread quicker, and more ferociously.

Sure some of my facts could be wrong, but the Helitanker one is not, and the Fire Brigade response is certainly limited to what I could see...But from my perspective, at least where the main body of the fire was, our two stations were not present. My understanding is they were attending a fire a few suburbs over, obviously they can't leave a fire to burn, but nor should they ever leave a station completely unmanned for their area.

Since this fire, there have been others. So far there was one a suburb over in Langwarrin yesterday, that burnt 6 Hectares (1 Hectare more than Carrum Downs). That response was a lot more impressive, and a lot more organised. And again today, this morning, I was woken up by the helitanker response to another one in Carrum Downs. This could be as a result of still smoldering logs etc, that caught fire and spread, or someone came to finish the job, with whatever bush is left. Either way, today the response was more adequate, more timely, more impressive.

For those of you who don't know, FIRE is my deepest, and worst fear of all. As a child, the threat of bushfire was common, so you can imagine the torment I copped as a kid as a result of where we lived. But today, despite how irrational my fear may be, Fire is one thing I fear the most, above everything.

So to see my favourite Helitanker in the sky, was calming. He wasn't there on Monday, I know he was in Langwarrin yesterday, but seeing him today in Carrum Downs along with Mr. Shiny and New Victoria Helitanker, made me relaxed.



He is a beast, and while not as accurate as Mr Shiny and New, he carries more, and has saved this area numerous times to warrant such weird appreciation.

Day 1 and 2

As it appears Kyle is documenting my time in Vancouver on his blog, I figure I should fill in some gaps. It appears that Kyle has skipped days 1 and 2, so I shall... make up for what he lacks. Hah.

Anyway, day 1 was pretty uneventful as I got into Vancouver, after some issues at JFK and a very long flight, all I wanted to do was sleep. So last thing I wanted was issues with the hotel booking, inevitably there were... but once that mishap was sorted, I got into my hotel room showered....and slept!!!
I made my way to McDonald's on Thurlow St off Robson, to ...'sustain' myself with a big mac. It was awesome!

That leads me to Day 2, as I pretty much slept on Day 1!

Day 2 wasn't very touristy, after craving Champagne for some time, I convinced Kyle to join me in a bottle, which turned out to be two, and with little food we were both a little hammered watching Canadian television shows. Was fun!

Other than that, Kyle has documented pretty much everything else of interest summarily...so there's no more too add!

Endings

Oh, how I need to write. It’s been far too long, so I guess it’s blog time…it has been a month since my last entry, so it is well overdue.

Firstly, I’d like to direct you all to the fact that the genius who created Ashton X has added a …well I don’t really know what to call it, but I’ll say a teaser to his blog. Following that link, you can also follow the link to Creepy Lamingtons, Luke has also added a crazy short story to that. He’s been busy apparently!

Well, for those of you who are aware, I’ve been in Canada for the past few months. But those months abroad are coming to an end, quite quickly as well. I leave Canada in just a few days, and while I most definitely will be back, within a year I hope, I can’t help but be sad about that. As I look back on the time I’ve had over here, the fantastic people I have met, and the amazing cities, and countries, I have visited while here. These are most certainly untradeable memories, and every moment of my time here has come with no regrets, and no real…’if I do it again, I’d do…’

However, as I look forward in the coming weeks, I’m also excited to be going home. To have the comfort of my own bed, a kitchen that has food that I haven’t bought, the occasional (as in, when I am home) wholesome meal served to me… the little things! The friends I have missed, and wished were here experiencing all these wonderful things with me, the family, in particular my mother. I’m a mumma’s boy, through and through, I’m not ashamed to admit it.

This week has kind of been the buffer week between leaving the exchange environment and returning home, and it has been spent in Vancouver, one of my favourite cities of Canada. It’s up there with Montreal, I’m still torn. Thankfully, I have had met Kyle here, one of the avid blog readers of mine. Been very welcoming, and a great tour guide. Together, along with a few of his friends, we’ve been to a Poetry Slam (and interesting experience, if I do say so), and a comedy club. And I’ve seen some parts of Vancouver I don’t recall seeing in my brief visit prior to my exchange.

I get to see Ms. Clare, one of the Aussies who was on exchange with me, this Friday. As she comes to visit me in Vancouver, and perhaps see her brother. It’s ironic, I’m looking forward to seeing her so much, and so excited to have her company yet… she’s still going to be the first person I see post-exchange, once I’m at home. In fact, one week from the date I leave her in Vancouver, I’ll be at her house for her 21st!

Anyway, sorry for the short update, and lack of extremely interesting topic…just needed to write, and had no idea what to write about!

Gravenhurst

Tim Horton's
"Every cup has a story"
Indeed, it is true as it seems every cup does have a story. The story behind this cup involves five ordinary Australians, living in Ontario, Canada on Exchange - finding the fabled glorious knee-deep snow. It was our mission, as such, to travel as far as needed to find a lot of snow.

The talk began on Monday, that week, two Aussies had brought about an idea to see real snow. By real, they meant snow other than the type they seem to get in the most southern point of Canada, in Windsor, Ontario. In Windsor, the snow is a bit different to what Canada is famous for (despite some of that fame being a misrepresentation of the country), in that it may snow heavily overnight, but by midday the next day it is nothing but slush and annoying puddles of water. The temperature in Windsor is so erratic, no snow has the opportunity to stay around for long. Given this, the two aforementioned Aussies decided it was high time to see the snow, at least knee-deep, more than what we naturally get on the Mountains in the Great Dividing Range of Australia.

The murmurs, talks and general rumble of the endeavour spread quickly through the horde of Exchange students here at the University of Windsor. It soon became apparent who were serious about discovering this snow. Not surprisingly, all the Australians on exchange were serious, and very willing to travel as far as necessary to see the snow. Conclusive enough, there were five Australians and five seats in the car...The trip was set. Friday night, after a certain interesting event that took place with some of these Australians (which many of you will learn of upon my return), we were to pick up the car from Windsor International Airport, and begin the journey to Muskoka, in northern Ontario.

All was fine, and unlike many roadtrips before it, there were no issues in hiring the car, no question, and no underage fee. It appears the Australian accent does buy you a few great deals, here and there. However, by the time we were all packed and ready to go, it was already late on Friday night, so we proposed to postpone the departure until bright and early (in fact not so bright, as it would still be dark) Saturday morning. All agreed that this was probably the safest option, given we intended to drive in the snow.

Saturday morning arrived, at 5:00am I find myself struggling to find the will to leave my warm and cosy bed, to shower. Once I convinced myself, I was ready and roaring to go. The road trip began at 6.30am on Saturday. After a long drive of about 7 hours, we found ourselves in Bracebridge, a town of Muskoka. We travelled along Santas' Village Road, next to a lake - through snow, and amazing scenery. The town was picturesque, the exact image that comes to mind when one usually thinks of Canada. We knew we had found what we were looking for, finding what was most likely a car park (we were not totally sure about this, there was much too much snow to really know for sure), we built a snow man, made snow angels, and had a snowball fight.

After frollicking and general frivolty in the car park of what could have been Santa's Village, we decided we would head off for lunch and to secure some accommodation for the evening. Given a slight mishap in our sense of direction, we ended up heading South (back the way we came), and instead of turning back we set our sights on staying, and eating in Gravenhurst, the first town of Muskoka. Finding a quaint pub in the centre of town in Gravenhurst, we ate a very hearty, and fulfilling meal with great, friendly service from a waitress with a truly Canadian accent. Inquiring about accommodation revealed to us that a cheap Hotel was nearby, and after trekking there through the snow we asked about availability. With luck there was one room left with just enough space for all five of us... at a rate of about one person (further proof that the Australian accent gets you a good deal).

After securing accommodation, and taking a siesta, we had a light dinner in the Restaurant attached to the Hotel, and made for some more snow fun. Sliding, skidding, jumping, throwing, angels, snow cones...all too much fun for Australians who have either seen little, or no snow! It was an amazing experience. From a distance, we could see rising out of rather deep snow a sign "Tim Horton's - Always Fresh". We would make that trek next, not really knowing where any of the roads were as they were covered in snow... we hiked our way there through the knee-deep sand of ice.

That was how the cups came into our hands, the cups of a Tim Horton's double-double. With the friendly assistance of the people of Gravenhurst, Muskoka, we had our picture taken as a group. Evidence of the story behind the cup... We came, saw and conquered the knee-deep fables of snow. And that is all that we did, the following morning at 9am...we were back on the road. It appeared to snow everywhere through Ontario that night, so we were very cautious on the road, so timing was not as good. However, we were fortunate enough not to be one of the seven accidents we saw that day.

That is the story of five Australians, finding snow. The story of our Cup.

Censorship

It's time to bring out those debating shoes again, or more, the reasonable critic shoes. However, unreasonable, I may end up being.

Firstly, I would just like to say I am angry. I voted Kevin Rudd, and I am not ashamed to admit that, for the other option - was not at all desirable. But now, I'll end up with egg on my face. I have directly supported a political leader, in their endeavour to thrust religious, and self-righteous views onto us all.

I am fundamentally opposed to censorship of any kind, I don't believe it the right of the government to exercise our right to choose, on our behalf. Nor should anyone, remove our right to choose. While the Commonwealth of Australia Constitution does not stipulate such a right, explicitly or implicitly (by lack of a High Court ruling on the matter), these are rights generally thought to be, by most Australians, as basic and rightfully ours - regardless of institution or establishment. I am, admittedly, one of those who assume this as a right of my own, despite its lack of protection.

It seems incredibly backward, and incredibly insane, to block internet sites in any number, based on them being 'unwanted'. Given that no definition of the term 'unwanted' has been revealed by the government, I can't quite argue the logistics of it. However, I can say I am not comfortable with any person having the right to deem something as unwanted.

This is to prevent child pornography, and violent webpages being accessed, or at least that is what we are told. While I don't disagree with the concept of this, as these websites are abhorrent in many ways, and for many, many reasons... where will it stop? The only protection the High Court can give us is that our 'Freedom to Political Speech' is protected. Not our Freedom to Speech, just political speech.

I can't support anyone, government or individual in favour of this. It is honestly, an unnecessary, thoughtless, drain on federal funds. We are entering into a time of economic uncertainty, and the government is spending money on implementing software which doesn't guard against all avenues of child pornography, in fact it doesn't even guard against the number one avenue (in which 99.9% of child pornography is found).

Another down side is that it is likely to slow our internet speeds by up to 80%. Australia may be very advanced in some areas, for example, mobile phone technology. Being in Canada, I have learned that we're a little more ahead than Canada. But when it comes to the internet, we are very, very far behind. We already have slow, and extremely expensive internet. We are the only developed nation to have internet caps, and here we are slowing the internet down, on a mindless exercise. Particularly, given that Kevin07 was meant to implement policies in favour of improving national broadband.

And obviously, if the government are to be truly successful in restricting access to these websites, it should never publish them publicly. So that they can avoid being accessed even with the software, in case someone is smart enough to get through it (which most of us people who've ever used the internet for more than five minutes are). There's a giant issue with that, if we never know what we are not allowed to see, we are living in ignorance. I am not comfortable being ignorant. If I'm not allowed to access something, I want to know what it is I'm restricted from seeing, and for what reasons I cannot see it. On top of that, if there is no disclosure, how are we ever going to know if something that is very much 'wanted' has been deemed 'unwanted' by the powers that be?

Maybe I missed the memo, but when did Australia say it was OK, for the government to treat our country, and its people, like it belonged to them and it was for them to decide how to parent. When did it become OK, to realise the incredibly '1984' mentality in our Government?

It would be nice, but quite clearly not going to happen, for the Governor-General to step in, and not give assent to such legislation. Or simply depose of Kevin Rudd. Some people, in fact a lot, and many of which I know, would say this is going too far. But this idea, is going too far. Leave the censoring of unwanted material to ourselves, and the parents of young children. We are capable, have faith in your 'subjects'.

Mostly, ladies and gentlemen who read this from home, please don't sit back and let our government decide what we see. We already have enough censorship already, while you're at it, try and get rid of that too!

Attack

So I am aware that I have not been maintaining my blog, even remotely, since I came to Canada. Possibly because I am sending mass emails, and I feel that simply copying these mass emails … is a bit of a cop out. I have wanted to write many things in my blog since I got here, but in amongst the crazy things I have been doing, and the stress and intense work load of an express semester (as a result of a faculty strike), I really haven't had much time.

What calls for a blog now, you ask. Well, I need to get something off my chest, and it isn’t exactly something that calls for a mass email or, more pointedly, is appropriate for a mass email. Sure, I could turn to one of my friends on exchange, but really…It’s not what I want to do.

So I’ll give you the low down. My residence is a really nice place, and the staff running it are really respectful and caring. My housemates generally, are a great bunch of people, and although many of us have a lot of differences in personality and opinions, we get along pretty well and I wouldn’t change my living arrangements because of them. Until now, that is.

In the past two weeks there has been…some questionable objects discovered in our house. And rather than beat around the bush, I’ll tell you and many of you (whoever bothers to read this, that is) would not be surprised. It was two used condoms. Sure enough, it is not all that surprising giving it is a student residence after all, and perhaps that is what prevents me from being totally grossed out. That, or something is wrong in my head, but I don’t think it’s that.

They were discovered in different places and at different times, and naturally, most of the house are offended and disgusted. And while I don’t really have the disgusted notion under my belt, I am offended that someone would disrespect our house like that, particularly if it is a resident. Upon finding the first one, our head of house asked us all, honestly, if we did it or knew anything about it. I answered honestly, in the same fashion in which I was asked, and bluntly said no.

Despite the fact I might not be totally revolted, I would never do it – because to me those things are extremely private. It’s not something I would want anyone else to see, that only comparison I can make to this is a girl leaving a used tampon out for the world to see. It’s not something any average girl would do, and in the same way, leaving a used condom out for the world to see is not something I’d do. I figure my house mates know me well enough to know that I am a clean guy, sure my room might be untidy, but while I have been here I have shown nothing but good hygiene. In fact, I am the cleanest person in the kitchen, my dishes are never left around and I always clean up immediately after myself (and unfortunately before I cook, or make any food).

Unfortunately however, my hygiene or more so, my personal integrity has come under question following the discovery of the second one. Admittedly, I got the impression my Head of House kind of thought it was me initially, I honestly thought I’d quashed that idea. But it was extremely disheartening to learn that, however diplomatic my housemate (and not the head of house mind you, he seems to be avoiding me at the moment) was in telling me, that my name seems to be coming up a bit as a suspect. No, beyond that, they are convinced it is me. Apparently I am the most sexually active housemate, or the most likely person to do it. From that I can gather two things… actually it kind of bounces back to the one.

Plain and simple, it’s because I’m gay, and I haven’t exactly hid that fact from my housemates. And while my housemate, as diplomatic as he was, assures me that this is not the case, I cannot think of any other reason for it. The assumption that I must be the most sexually active housemate must come from somewhere, and I have certainly not given any of them reason to believe I am having a lot of sex, or even sex in this house. While it’s only conjecture, I’m assuming it comes from the age-old stereotype that gays are promiscuous. Secondly, being the most likely person to do it, is an attack on me. Despite the fact that I don’t believe I’ve given any reason to warrant the accusation that I am disturbed enough to run around placing used condoms of mine anywhere, they seem to think so. That interlocks with what I was saying in the first place.

I keep repeating that my housemate was very diplomatic, that’s because I was impressed at the level of diplomacy I saw. It was, under any normal circumstances, something I would compliment him on. But not this time. Obviously, I responded just as tactfully as he did me. Naturally that means I hid my anger, and yes, hurt, at the accusation.

The point is, my housemates without me, at some point have come together and concluded that it must have been me (or, without seeming too convinced by this point, someone outside of the house). That is hurtful on so many levels. How can you live with people, who hold you with such little regard? Should I assume that for every disgusting thing that we are yet to see (or hopefully not see), that I am the likely suspect?

Apparently the college are going to be undertaking an investigation, I welcome that; I have absolutely nothing to hide. And I do hope that it is someone in this house, just so that they can be revealed to be the person they are convinced I am. In the meantime, I have a mid-term to study for, which I have been successfully distracted from as a result of a few tinges of anger and hurt.

Gah! I promise, I did like my housemates until now.